All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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