i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
