Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
