Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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