those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
