just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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