"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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