3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
