she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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