She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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