he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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