Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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