So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
