Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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