I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
