You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize