LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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