I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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