You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
