'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize