Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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