i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
