I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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