I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize