Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
