I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What a dumb baby whore.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
