I'm gonna have a badass scar
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
