Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
