sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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