I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.