In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜