i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.