First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
