The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
