How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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