AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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