I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
