maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
