what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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