did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
