i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
