It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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