So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize