What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
