Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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