I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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