she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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