I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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