just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
