So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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