I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
