you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
