How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
