I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
