Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
