So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
