like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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