so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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