Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
