went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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