Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
