if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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