He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
