i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
