About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
