Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
