im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
