i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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