so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
